Alphatown Ionians





Pitchers
Archimedes Atanasoff Aurelius Blondlot Darwin Dewey Mill
Newton Oberth Spinoza
Infielders/Outfielders
Chomsky Hegel Heidegger Husserl Kant Nietzsche Peirce
Planck Pons Rand Russell Tarski Tsander Turing
Field Manager Coaches G.M. Owner Home Park
Descartes Emerson Hume James Wittgenstein Confucius AlphaDome
Italics-Rookie






The Alphatown Ionians are one of the Cosmic Baseball Association's original teams. They are also one of CBA's most successful teams having reached the Cosmic Universal Series six times (1983, 1985, 1990, 1991, 1993, 1994), more than any other team. Their record in the Series is 5-1.

Last season was disappointing. The Ionians played sub-.500 baseball (79-83) prompting the owner Confucius to replace his rookie field manager, J. Robert Oppenheimer, with the former Ionian pitcher and rationalist philosopher, Rene Descartes.

Three rookies are on this year's roster, all of them pitchers: John Atanasoff, recognized as the "father" of the electronic digital computer; Marcus Aurelius, sage stoic philosopher and Roman emperor; and the scientist Charles Darwin.

Philosophers still out number the scientists on the roster but the gap is closing. Despite the fact that all of the managers and coaches are philosophers, the influence of the scientists is growing each season. This trend, however, seems to be having an adverse effect on the team's performance, at least for the last several seasons. Fans of the Ionians hope that rookie manager Descartes can steer the team towards another visit to the Cosmic Universal Series.


Alphatown Ionians
Team Won/Lost History
1981-1997


YEAR Won Lost Pct.
1981 10 16 .385
1983 86 76 .531
1984 80 82 .494
1985 98 64 .605
1986 75 87 .463
1987 85 77 .525
1988 82 80 .506
1989 81 81 .500
1990 90 62 .592
1991 97 65 .599
1992 79 83 .488
1993 87 75 .537
1994 97 65 .599
1995 83 79 .512
1996 82 80 .506
1997 79 83 .488
Composite 1291 1155 .528








Archimedes
c.287-212 B.C.
Pitcher

Greek mathematician and inventor.


1998 Cosmic Player Plate










John V. Atanasoff
1903-1995
Pitcher

Scientist


1998 Cosmic Player Plate










Marcus Aurelius
121-180 A.D.
Pitcher

Philosopher, Roman emperor (161-180).


1998 Cosmic Player Plate










Rene Blondlot
1849-1930
Pitcher

Scientist


1998 Cosmic Player Plate










Noam Chomsky
born 1928
Catcher

Philosopher


1998 Cosmic Player Plate










Charles Robert Darwin
1809-1882
Pitcher

Scientist


1998 Cosmic Player Plate










John Dewey
1859-1952
Pitcher

Philosopher


1998 Cosmic Player Plate










G.W.F. Hegel
1770-1831
Firstbase

Philosopher











Martin Heidegger
1889-1976
Rightfield

Philosopher


1998 Cosmic Player Plate










Edmund Husserl
1859-1938
Outfield

Philosopher


1998 Cosmic Player Plate










Immanuel Kant
1724-1804
Centerfield

Philosopher


1998 Cosmic Player Plate










John Stuart Mill
1806-1873
Pitcher

Philosopher


1998 Cosmic Player Plate










Issac Newton
1642-1727
Pitcher

Scientist


1998 Cosmic Player Plate










Friedrich Nietzsche
1844-1900
Catcher

Philosopher


1998 Cosmic Player Plate










Hermann Oberth
1894-1989
Pitcher

Scientist


1998 Cosmic Player Plate










C.S. Peirce
1839-1914
Outfield

Philosopher











Max Planck
1858-1947
Infield

Scientist











Stanley Pons
born 19??
Infield

Scientist


1998 Cosmic Player Plate










Ayn Rand
1905-1982
Outfield

Philosopher











Bertrand Russell
1872-1970
Secondbase

Philosopher











Baruch Spinoza
1632-1677
Pitcher

Philosopher


1998 Cosmic Player Plate










Alfred Tarski
1902-1983
Shortstop

Scientist


1998 Cosmic Player Plate










Fridrikh Tsander
1887-1933
Infield

Scientist


1998 Cosmic Player Plate










Alan Turing
1912-1954
Infield

Scientist


1998 Cosmic Player Plate










Rene Descartes
1556-1650
Field Manager

Philosopher











Ralph Waldo Emerson
1803-1882
Coach

Philosopher











David Hume
1711-1776
Coach

Philosopher











William James
1842-1910
Coach

Philosopher











Ludwig Wittgenstein
1889-1951
General Manager

Philosopher











Confucius
551-479 B.C.
Team Owner

Philosopher











AlphaDome
Home Park
Capacity: 44,444



















1997 Ionians Roster





1996 Ionians Roster










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1998 Alphatown Ionians
URL: http://www.cosmicbaseball.com/98air.html
Published: November 15, 1997
Copyright © 1997, 1998 by the Cosmic Baseball Association
email: editor@cosmicbaseball.com

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