December 28, 1999
Former Telecity Superba Clayton Moore Passes On

Clayton Moore, also known as the Lone Ranger, died today of a heart attack in California at 9:20 AM (PST). He was 85 years old. Born Jack Carlton Moore on September 14, 1914 the future Lone Ranger changed his name in the 1930s when he moved to Hollywood to do stunt work. Moore apparently beat out 75 other actors in 1949 when the Lone Ranger radio show was adapted for television. His selection may have had to do with his experience in the so-called masked-hero genre (he had been in The Ghost of Zorro B-flick.) The television version of the Lone Ranger premiered on September 15, 1949 and ran until September 12, 1957. But Moore missed several episodes between 1952 and 1953 because of a salary dispute. (Actor John Hart took his place.) He also starred with his good friend Jay Silverheels (Tonto) in two movie versions based on the character. After the show ended Moore continued his career with Lone Ranger appearances. Later Moore became involved in litigation with the company that owned the rights to the Lone Ranger. The company did not want the aging Moore going around as the masked hero anymore. While the litigation dragged on Moore appeared with sunglasses instead of the mask. Moore published an autobiography entitled, I Was That Masked Man.

Moore played cosmic baseball for seven seasons (1991-1997) and was considered a popular member of the show-business oriented team. He was utilized mostly as a utility fielder and pinch hitter with the Superbas.

Hi-yo Silver, Masked Man.





Link to Moore's 1997 Telecity Superbas Roster entry.







December 25, 1999
CBA Annual Report, 1999-2000

Membership in the Cosmic Baseball Association is increasing dramatically. The number of visitors to the CBA's website is pushing an average of one thousand a day. The Board of Directors refuses to allow advertising or sales of T-shirts. These and other details about the current state of the CBA are available in the online version of the Annual Report.

Each year the CBA compiles the Annual Report to report to the membership on the state of the Association. This is the first year the report has been made available to the public at the CBA's website. The Annual Report is broken down into sections including a Letter from the Executive Director, a listing of the Board of Directors, a Membership report, a report on website operations, financial statements and a calendar of events for the 2000 season.


Click Here to Read the Annual Report






December 22, 1999
Cosmic Game Report: etoy.com @ etoys.com


To prevent potential customers from becoming confused, the online retail company eToys Inc. (www.etoys.com) wanted to prevent the international art collective etoy (formerly at www.etoy.com) from using the etoy dot com domain name on the internet. Apparently eToys Inc. offered money (US$50,000) and shares of stock to the artists but the answer was no, the artists of etoy would not sell their domain name (registered since 1996.) It's e-art versus e-commerce. The controversy over the use of the "etoy.com" domain name rages on this holiday season. For some, in a biblical frame of mind, it looks like a capitalist Goliath picking on an artistic David. Maybe it is. It's up to each of us to review the facts. But one thing is certain: on the cosmic baseball field the Davids are the giants and Goliath can't find home plate often enough.


Want to know more...?  click here






December 20, 1999
Cosmic Players in the News

Cosmic baseball players keep themselves busy during the offseason.

A second volume of letters by Dharma Beat leftfielder and American writer Jack Kerouac has just been published by Viking Press. This collection of letters covers the period in Kerouac's life from the publication of On the Road (1957) until his death, at age 47, in October 1969. Ann Charters, the first of an increasing list of Kerouac biographers has again edited the volume. It's a hefty size at 499 pages and retails for $34.95. Atop an Underwood: Early Stories and Other Writings takes us to the other side of Kerouac's life- collected here is his very early writings. One unimpressed reviewer described the work as the "rawest form of juvenilia: awkward, callow, cliched..." The book has been edited by Paul Marion and is also published by Viking. For $24.95 you get all 248 pages.



Delta Dragon seconbaseman and jazz musician Noah Lampert has released House of the Rising Sax, a series of tunes recorded with his band, the Noah Lampert Session. Lampert is a young and talented musician. What he currently lacks in experience he makes up for with an innovative and unconventional approach to playing the tenor saxophone. The Noah Lampert Session group of musicians consists of drummer Tommy Rose, keyboardist Travis Sorenson and vocalist Namita Murtha. Lampert and his cohorts are conspiring to redfine the nature of modern jazz and House of the Rising Sax is a first-rate first step. The recording is available on compact disc and cassette tape, both for $9 (there is no vinyl release version.) For more information visit this Ethical Music Company page.






December 19, 1999
CBA Staff Annoucements

The Cosmic Baseball Association is pleased to announce the appointment of Frederick "Flash" Black of Wheaton, Maryland as the new executive director of the CBA. Mr. Black has been associated with CBA since 1997, first as a member of the senior technical staff then as an assistant to the executive director. Mr. Black replaces Andrew Lampert who has been CBA's executive director since 1985. Mr. Lampert has taken a teaching position at the Cosmic Baseball Research Alliance's (COBRA) Institute of Advanced Studies.

On Saturday December 18, the Cosmic Baseball Association announced two new appointments to its Board of Directors: Karen Cora Duchamp of Potomac, Maryland is the founder and president of the Duchamp Design Group located in Washington D.C. Ms. Duchamp joined the CBA in early 1999. Benjamin Stein of Boston, Massachusetts and a CBA member since 1991 was also appointed to the CBA's Board of Directors. Mr. Stein is the current staff director of the CBA's Youth & Cosmic Baseball Committee.






December 18, 1999
JOURNAL of the Cosmic Baseball Association, Volume 18

Volume 18 of the Journal of the Cosmic Baseball Association has been published online for the members and friends of the CBA. The current issue of the Journal includes an essay on the accursed Boston Red Sox. JCBA 18 also includes a transcript of a lecture on cosmic baseball. There's a profile of major league pitcher Dock Ellis who managed to throw a no-hit baseball game while under the influence of lysergic acid. There is an artist's exhibition of recent work and an interactive "search" (f)utility for pepole interested in the basics of human needs and emotions. There's also a recollection of a Babe Ruth home run hit in the 1930s when the Babe was a Boston Brave; this home run piece is really about fathers and sons, like much of baseball. Finally, for our more mature friends, there's a little something on baseball and sex.

For more information about other online editions of the Journal and for information about contributing to future issues of the JCBA, please visit the JCBA Main Plate.


Link to JCBA Volume 18

Link to JCBA Main Plate






December 16, 1999
JOHN LEE HOOKER: New Delta Dragons Owner

The "King of Boogie Blues" is the new owner of the Delta Dragons, CBA's team of musical individuals. JOHN LEE HOOKER, the Mississippi Delta guitar stylist, who is an acknowledged link between the Blues and Rock and Roll musical styles, takes ownership of a struggling band of players. The Dragons have not been winning very much. The last time they made it to the Cosmic Universal Series (CUS) was in 1981 when they lost to the Paradise Pisces in the first CUS ever played.

Details of the transfer of ownership from the Muse Euterpe to Hooker have not been disclosed and if tradition is any guide, it is unlikely we will ever get all the details. But we do know the deal was in the works for the past couple of months as Euterpe, frustrated at her team's dismal on-field performances, put the word out she was ready to take her double flute and head back to the Strymon River of her happier days.

John Lee Hooker was born on August 17 or 20, sometime between 1917 and 1920. His stepfather William Moore who played music with such legendary musicians as Blind Lemon Jefferson and Charlie Patton apparently turned him on to music. (Don't be surprised to see legendary blues musicians start infiltrating the Dragons' roster in future seasons.) Hooker left his Clarksdale home in Mississippi's Coahoma County and went to live in Memphis, Cincinnati and Detroit. In 1948 he released his first tune, "Boogie Chillen" which became a successful hit.

Hooker played at the 1959 Newport Folk Festival adapting to the metamorphic musical audience. In her Rock Encyclopedia Lillian Roxon attributes Hooker's appearance at Newport for providing "more exposure to the new generation than most blues artists." That exposure translated into direct influence.

Rock and Roll bands such as the Rolling Stones, Ten Years After and Canned Heat were explicit in acknowledging the influence of Hooker and his "endless boogie." Jimi Hendrix, Van Morrison and a slew of other rockers absorbed Hooker's unique style of music. Carlos Santana calls Hooker "an ocean of inspiration."

Hooker has been a remarkably adaptable artist. He underwent a revival of sorts in 1989 when in his 70s he released a series of successful albums beginning with The Healer. He was a 1991 inductee at the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame. In February 2000 the National Academy of Recording Arts and Sciences (the Grammy folk) will award Hooker a Lifetime Achievement Award.

Hooker has been a successful musician and businessman. It remains to be seen if he will be successful as a cosmic baseball team owner. The Dragons have had only one winning season in the last nine years. While always populated by talented musicians, and led by long-time and well-loved field manager Janis Joplin, they consistently play sub-par cosmic baseball. Game attendance has declined steadily. The Dragons were one of the original cosmic teams. Even so they have dwelled in the Middleleague practically forever; and there is precious little hope of the team moving up to the Overleague any time soon. So John Lee has his work cut out for him. He may yet continue to sing and play the blues.


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December 15, 1999
Former Eden Bohemian Pitcher JOSEPH HELLER Passes On

Joseph Heller, American novelist, playwright and anti-war advocate, died of a heart attack on Sunday December 12 at his home in East Hampton, New York. Heller was born on June 23, 1923 in Brooklyn, New York.

From 1942 to 1945 Joseph Heller served as a combat bombardier in the Twelfth Air Force and was stationed on the Island of Corsica. That real life experience provided the material for his 1961 novel Catch-22 which has become one of the most read and widely known anti-war books of this passing century. The 1970 Hollywood movie production of the novel helped further penetrate its idea of the absurdity of the military-industrial bureaucracy into the collective unconscious. A "catch-22" is a bureaucratic inanity and usually the result of a system gone mad.

In 1986 Heller celebrated the novel's 25th anniversary during a weekend at the United States Air Force Academy, where he was exuberantly received (this itself is an ironic fact, since the novel specifically deals with the absurdity of an Air Force bureaucracy). In describing the contemporary public's perception of the military, a perception that his characters like Yossarian and Colonel Cathcart have helped create, Heller pointed out that "''We oversimplify our military. 'We think they have one mind. But they are very educated today and they want their families and students to be well educated. The degree of acceptance here, maybe even love, for the book is very surprising, and gratifying.''

A real-life Air Force officer, Colonel Jack Shuttleworth, head of the Academy's English department said, "''We want these men and women to be a thinking part of a large military bureaucracy. We don't want them to be victims of the Colonel Cathcarts of the world. To put it bluntly, you don't want dumb officers out there protecting your country.''

Heller claimed it is difficult to define what a "catch-22" is. . ''It doesn't exist, that's the catch," he said. "If it existed in writing or something, we could change it.'' But his important book made clear that empowering stupid people to do important things inevitably generates that paradox called, thanks to Heller, a "catch-22."

Heller spent two years as a pitcher with the Eden Bohemians, CBA's team of interesting writers.

Peace, brother Joseph.



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December 14, 1999
Woodsox Sign Former Manager HOWARD ZINN As New Thirdbaseman

He is Professor Emeritus of Political Science at Boston University, author of A People's History of the United States (1980; 1995), an instrumental participant in the Student Nonviolent Coordinating Committee (SNCC, 1960s), a bombardier during World War Two (1940s), a child of the Brooklyn working class (born 1925) and a former field manager of the Psychedelphia Woodstockings (1986-1988), CBA's team of 1960s personalities.

Howard Zinn is a radical historian, a father of the "New History" movement that caught fire in the 1960s. He is a political activist and author of some fourteen books including an autobiography called You Can't Remain Neutral on a Moving Train (1994).

Zinn's three year record as field manager of the Woodsox is a not too stellar 229 wins and 257 losses (.471 winning percentage). He was fired as manager of the Woodsox following the 1988 season. Twelve years later Zinn will be wearing the day-glowing stripes of the Woodsox once again. But this time around he'll be playing the hot corner vacated by Malcolm X who quit the Woodsox to own the Allahville Shabazzers, a new cosmic team.

It is Zinn's perception that traditional history is mostly about conquerors writing about their conquests. That isn't the only kind of history or even the most accurate history. In a 1992 interview Zinn remarked: "...all history is a selection out of an infinite number of facts. As soon as you begin to select, you select according to what you think is important. Therefore it is already not objective. It's already biased in the direction of whatever you, as the selector of this information, think people should know." It's a lesson we keep learning, year after year, season after season.


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December 13, 1999
Season 1999 All Cosmic Team

The All Cosmic Team consists of the best players at each field position during the 1999 season as determined by a committee of Cosmic Baseball Research Alliance (COBRA) scholars. This season nine different teams are represented on the All Cosmic Team. For the first time ever, three rookies made the team. Another interesting note, for the first time ever there are more women than men on the All Cosmic Team. Links are to the available player plates and 1999 team rosters.


Pitcher
Vanessa Williams*
Paradise Pisces

Catcher
Sharon Lopatka
Vestal Virgins

Firstbase
Gregory Corso
Dharma Beats

Secondbase
Omar Bradley
Wonderland Warriors

Thirdbase
Steve Case*
Heartland Capitalists

Shortstop
Ma Phoon
Bigtopia B'Stormers

Leftfield
Angela Davis
Psychedelphia Woodsox

Centerfield
Christina Applegate
Telecity Superbas

Rightfield
Henrietta Crosby*
Motherland Mothers

* indicates Rookie






December 6, 1999
Nin-Clinton Controversy

First there were the rumors. Then a public comment. And now an official statement. Paradise Pisces general manager Chelsea Clinton was annoyed at Pisces' field manager Anais Nin's handling of the Pisces' pitchers during the recently completed Cosmic Universal Series. The Pisces lost to the Pre-Raphaelites in the seven game series.

Rumors started circulating after the third game that Clinton had advised Nin, in no uncertain terms, to rely more on the bullpen. Nin had waited six innings after starter Kelsey Grammer gave up seven earned runs before bringing in a relief pitcher. In the pivotal sixth game Nin left Grammer in again during the third inning and only called for relief after Grammer allowed four runs. During the post-game news conference Nin in her all-too-sweet voice remarked that she manages the team on the field not the young U.S. first daughter.

After the series a rumor that Nin was getting axed circulated but it remained unconfirmed. Yesterday the Pisces issued an official statement that said there is no truth to the rumor that Nin's job was in jeopardy. Neither Nin or Clinton could be reached for a comment.






December 2, 1999
Telecity Superbas Draft SHEILA JAMES KUEHL & PORTIA de ROSSI

The Telecity Superbas, CBA's team of television personalities, selected two actresses from two very distinct television eras.

Sheila James Kuehl played the smart but unloved Zelda Gilroy in the television situation comedy called The Many Loves of Dobie Gillis which had its premiere on network television in 1959. While Dobie may have had many loves during the four-year run of the series, Zelda was not one of them. Actress Kuehl is now a well-respected California politician serving in her third term as a member of the the California State Assembly representing the 41st Assembly District in Los Angeles County. She is also the first openly gay or lesbian person to be elected to the California Legislature. Kuehl replaces the longtime Superba outfileder Jackie Gleason who retired last season.

Portia de Rossi was born Amanda Rogers on January 31, 1973 in Melbourne, Australia. She was a child and teenage model and she began doing television commercials at age 14. She attended the University of Melbourne with an ambition to be a lawyer. Because of her youthful attraction to the actor Sam Neill she auditioned and won a role in the 1994 film Sirens. That was also the year she understandably decided to give up the law and become a full time professional actress. Today she is widely known as the lawyer Nelle Porter on the current television series Ally McBeal. De Rossi is a pitcher and she takes the spot in the Superbas rotation vacated by the deactivated Soledad O'Brien.



Kuehl and de Rossi



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December 1, 1999
Pre-Raphaelites Win 1999 Cosmic Universal Series

The Pre-Raphaelite Baseball Club from the CBA's Underleague went the distance and defeated the Overleague's Paradise Pisces in the 18th iteration of the Cosmic Universal Series. The P.R.B. can now lay claim to the title as the Best Cosmic Baseball Team for the 1999 Season. It was a wonderful championship series that couldn't be decided until the seventh and final game. Good pitching, good batting and a cohesive team spirit, not ordinarily witnessed in a group of such devout individualists as the Pre-Raphaelites, paid off handsomely. It is the P.R.B.'s first championship since joining the Cosmic Baseball Association in 1997.


Pisces' Bork
2 Shutouts
The Paradise Pisces made a go of it as they tried to reprise their 1998 Season performance. But the upstart band of painters and poets that is the P.R.B. seemed to have the greater desire, especially during the seventh and decisive game.


Maria Zambaco
Series MCP
Pre-Raphaelite model Maria Zambaco won the Most Cosmic Player of the Series award for her outstanding performance at the plate which included 12 hits in 22 at bats and 10 runs batted in. The Pisces can certainly be proud of their starting pitcher and former U.S. Supreme Court nominee Robert Bork who pitched two shutout contests (Games 2 & 5) and accumulated a series earned run average of exactly 0.00 in two complete championship games (that's 18 innings of shutout pitching.)

Pre-Raphaelite field manager, William Allingham, called his team one of the best collection of creative and inspirational people he has ever been honored to manage. When asked in the victor's locker room from whence the team's espirit de corps came from, Allingham pointed a finger over at a corner where the brothers Rossetti (Dante and William), tears streaming down their cheeks, embraced.


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Archived: December 31, 1999
Copyright © 1999 by the Cosmic Baseball Association

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