Round One of the Rookie Draft is complete. The following rookies have been selected. Round Two will take place in the Winter.

Pisces pitcher Kelsey Grammer won games 1 & 4 (he was a last minute choice to start the opener when the scheduled starter Cyd Charisse came down with the flu.) Grammer posted a series earned run average of 2.00 and racked up 12 striekouts.

The Most Cosmic Player Award went to Pisces secondbaseman and race car driver Bobby Unser. Unser batted .400 with two homeruns and 8 runs batted in.

This was the Pisces fifth Series appearance and fourth victory; only the Alphatown Ionians have a better record in Cosmic Universal Series history.

This was the Woodsox' first series and if the team stays in tact we can expect to see them in the post-season again next year. Ho Chi Minh, Muhammad Ali and Martin Luther King had good series performances. The key to ultimate success for the Woodsox will be shoring up the pitching staff.

In addition to an alphabetical listing of all cosmic baseball players the database includes information about the number of seasons a cosmic player was active. For cosmic batters, composite career batting averages are provided. Cosmic pitcher information includes composite career earned run averages and won/loss records.

The team is managed by famous entomologists and the players represent various "bugs" including members of the Isoptera (Termite), Heteroptera (Stink Bug), Lepidoptera (Butterfly) and Diptera (Wasp) orders.

At this moment the investigation proceeds. Reliable sources indicate that if the charges are true then Albert Gore would automatically replace Bush as the team's newest rookie.

Bush won the home run contest on the 640th and last pitch of the extended derby at 2:18 in the morning. Bush hit a total of 320 homeruns; Gore hit 319.

The ball Bush hit to win the derby just barely cleared the rightfield fence of LaFayette Park, the Presidents' home field. Gore's last swing resulted in a flyball that just missed clearing the leftfield wall.

Team owner, George Washington, welcomed the younger Bush (his father, George P. Bush is a non-active roster pitcher) to the team in a brief ceremony held on the rain-drenched field.

Grady Stiles was born in Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania in 1937 with a condition known as ectrodactyly which causes fingers to fuse together giving the appearance of pincers. Like his father before him, Stiles made a living touring with various carnivals. Apparently Stiles was an alcoholic who abused members in his family. He killed the fiancé of one of his daughters because he disapproved of the man. Somehow, Stiles was able to beat the rap. In 1992 his wife, Mary hired Harry Glen Newman, a teenage neighbor to shoot and kill her husband. Stiles was shot dead while watching television in his trailer in the circus town of Gibsonton, Florida. Mary was convicted of manslaughter and conspiracy and received a 12-year prison term. Newman received a 27-year sentence. One of Stiles' sons, who acted as the middleman in the murder plot, got 25 years.

Fred Rosen wrote a 1997 book, Lobster Boy: The Bizarre Life and Brutal Death of Grady Stiles which details the unfortunate story of Stiles. Hollywood is making a film about Lobster Boy's life.

In announcing the appointment of Stiles, B'Stormers general manager Lou Jacobs, said the team needed someone who would impose more discipline on a team that is known for its rowdiness on and off the cosmic playing field.

[Stiles son, Grady Stiles III, who also has ectrodactyly, is a utility player on the B'Stormers. The younger Stiles was 16 and asleep in a back bedroom of the trailer when his father was murdered.]

After dropping out of college in the early 1940s Allen began his show business career in 1943 as a radio announcer in Phoenix, Arizona.

He composed over 8,500 tunes, published more than 40 books, played Benny Goodman in the 1956 biopic of the musician and is credited with creating the television talk show format. In 1953 he began hosting a local version of the Tonight Show in New York City. NBC made the show national with Allen as host in 1954. After leaving the Tonight Show he hosted a variety show that showcased a wide range of personalities including, in 1958, the Beat Generation author Jack Kerouac. He was a major television star during the 1950s.

In addition to his comedic sensibility, Allen was a social activist. He wrote a 1966 book entitled The Ground is Our Table that analyzed the plight of migrant farm workers. His 1991 book Dumbth mourned the decline of American cultural values.

As a cosmic pitcher Allen could be a workhorse but he could also be erratic on the mound. His best season occurred in 1992 when he won 19 games. He retired from cosmic baseball after 15 seasons in 1997.

In reference to all the paper he generated with his songs and books Allen once told a reporter from the New York Times that "it would be appropriate after I die if they just shovel 8,000 pounds of paper on top of me instead of dirt."

Hey ho Steverino, rest in peace.

Official Cosmic Record


Link to Steve Allen Website