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Archived: September 30, 2002
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Season 2002
Final Standings
Overleague
Team Won Lost Pct GB
Virgins 100 62 .617 -
Ionians 86 76 .531 14
Warriors 78 84 .481 22
Presidents 77 85 .475 23
Beats 74 88 .457 26
Pisces 71 91 .438 29
Middleleague
Team Won Lost Pct GB
Busriders 101 61 .623 -
Vanguards 99 63 .611 2
Woodsox 97 65 .599 4
Capitalists 89 73 .549 12
Superbas 81 81 .500 20
Dragons 75 87 .463 26
Bohemians 71 91 .438 30
Poetics 35 127 .216 66
Underleague
Team Won Lost Pct GB
Preluders 111 51 .685 -
Minstrels 102 60 .630 9
Tricksters 98 64 .605 13
B'Stormers 82 80 .506 29
Rapunzels 81 81 .500 30
Cars 77 85 .475 34
Anarchists 75 87 .463 36
Velocitors 70 92 .432 41
Mothers 61 101 .377 50
PRB 53 109 .327 58
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2002 Post Season
September 29, 2002
The Cosmic Baseball Association's regular playing season concluded September 23. The Post Season begins October 1 when the Chopintown Preluders of the Underleague meet the Pranktown Busriders of the Middleleague in the best-of-five games Subleague Series.

The Preluders are a rookie team, created on January 2, 2002. Composed of various Preludes created by Frederic Chopin, the Preluders won more games (111) than any other team in the Cosmic Baseball Association this season.

The Busriders were created on January 26, 1996. Made up of members and associates of the 1960s guerilla ensemble known as "The Merry Pranksters," the Busriders won 101 games, edging out the Bhutan Vanguards by 2 games to claim the Middleleague pennant.

The winner of the Subleague Series will meet the Vestal Virgins of the Overleague in a best-of-seven Cosmic Universal Series beginning November 28, 2002.






When Fans Attack
September 22, 2002

The Ligues: Father & Son
Major League Baseball had to find someway of putting the fans back in their place. During the summer, as the rumors of a strike swirled, fans criticized and ridiculed the spoiled, greedy players and owners. What better way to accomplish this humbling then to have two idiot fans (a father and his son, in keeping with elemental baseball myths) attack a man who has made professional baseball his life? The attackers, obviously "Manchurian candidates", have, in one swift moment, turned the tables around. Baseball can now focus on the "fan problem" and the safety of its players and coaches.

On Thursday September 19, William Ligue, Jr. and his son, both shirtless, jumped out of the stands at Comiskey Park and attacked Tom Gamboa, first-base coach for the Kansas City Royals. It was the top of the ninth inning in a game between the Chicago White Sox and the visiting Royals. The Royals' entire dugout cleared and the bullpen occupants rushed in from right field. Several players jumped on the attacking fans. Punches were exchanged, but it was not clear which players threw them. Security came on the field and tried to break it up, but it was several minutes before order was restored. Eventually the two fans were escorted off the field in handcuffs. A White Sox trainer attended to Gamboa. He had a large cut on his forehead, and was holding a towel to his face. Nevertheless Gamboa was able to walk off the field unassisted. The two fans were handcuffed and taken from Comiskey to the District 9 police station at 35th Street and Lowe Avenue in Chicago.

On Saturday William Ligue, 34, was charged with a felony count of aggravated battery in a public place of amusement and held on $200,000 bail. His son, 15, was initially released to his mother. Later he was taken to a juvenile detention center and charged with two juvenile counts of aggravated battery, one for attacking Gamboa and the other for hitting a White Sox security guard. Ligue the younger is due in court on Monday.

Initially the Ligues said that the attack was provoked because Gamboa had made obscene gestures at them. Gamboa denied these accusations insisting he had no interaction of any kind with the fans in the stands. Subsequent news reports suggest that the Ligues had planned the assault.

William Ligue was a prime "Manchurian candidate" for this bit of psychodrama designed to silence the fans and their negative commentary on the greed of Major League Baseball. He was a man much down on his luck. According to Ligue's sister, in the past year, her brother has lost a job, lost a daughter and lost a girlfriend. Ligue's personal problems made him a perfect subject and provided perfect motivation. Of course, like all mind-control experiments, the truth will be difficult to discover.


Tom Gamboa
The victim, Tom Gamboa, described as "just another anonymous baseball lifer," has been in professional baseball for thirty years. He told reporters, "I spent 30 years in baseball as a no-name guy building a reputation on my integrity and honesty. I can look anyone in the eye and honestly say when I've made a mistake. When people have taunted me, I've always been professional in my decorum. They paid for a ticket. I have never responded, not once in my life, with a hand gesture or an oral remark to taunts. Anyone who ever has played for me or played against me can tell you that. It's ludicrous and an insult to my integrity. Those guys picked the wrong guy to lie about."

So now, the talk has shifted from how greedy the people in baseball are to how we have to better protect the good baseball folk from moronic fans. It was a nice play, well executed.





Middleleague Race Down to the Wire
September 15, 2002
Season 2002 Main Plate
With only six games left in the regular cosmic playing season the race for the Middleleague pennant is still too close to call. The Pranktown Busriders are two games in front of the Bhutan Vanguards. The two teams will not face each other during the last week of the regular season. The Busriders player three games away against the Telecity Superbas and finish up with three home games against the Eden Bohemians. The Vanguards play all six of their remaining games on the road: three against the Heartland Capitalists and three against the Delta Dragons.

The Middleleague champion will meet the Chopintown Preluders, winner of the Underleague pennant, in the Subleague Series. The Vestal Virgins have a lock on the Overleague pennant.



Season 2002 Notes
September 1, 2002
Link to Season 2002 Plate
One nice thing about cosmic baseball and its players: there's no fear or threat of a work stoppage. Cosmic players play the game because they love it, not because they get paid to play...With just over three more weeks in the season it looks like the Virgins have a lock on the Overleague pennant. The Middleleague prize is still up for grabs with the Busriders, Vanguards and Woodsox all still in contention. The Underleague pennant will probably go to the rookie Preluders squad...Overleague Rookie of the Season award will likely go to one of three candidates: Jennifer Dodato (IF, Virgins), Silvio Gesell (P, Pisces) or George Harrison (2B, Pisces)...Lawrence Ferlinghetti, veteran outfielder for the Dharma Beats is the front-runner for the Most Cosmic Player award...The Paradise Pisces have never finished in last place, until this season...POST-SEASON begins October 1 with the Subleague Series. The Cosmic Universal Series begins Thanksgiving Day (November 28)...Remember, in memory of the tragic events of last year no cosmic baseball games will be played on September 11.













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Archived: September 30, 2002
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