The ALPHATOWN IONIANS are the Cosmic Baseball Association's team of interesting philosophers, scientists and thinkers. |
| Player | Position |
| Anaxagoras | P |
| Anaximander | IF |
| Robert Atanasoff | P |
| Rene Blondlot | P |
| Robert Burton | P |
| Noam Chomsky | LF |
| Democritus | P |
| John Dewey | P |
| Sigmund Freud | P |
| Robert Goddard | RF |
| George Wilhelm Hegel | 1B |
| Heraclitus | OF |
| Immanuel Kant | CF |
| Friederich Nietzsche | C |
| Max Planck | IF |
| Wilhelm Reich | P |
| Bertrand Russell | 2B |
| Leo Sternbach | P |
| Alfred Tarski | SS |
| Alan Turing | 3B |
| Zeno | IF/OF |
| Rene Descartes | Manager |
| Anaximenes | Coach |
| Ludwig Wittgenstein | GM |
| Confucius | Owner |
| AlphaDome | Park |
| Ionians Team Index | |
| Italics Indicates ROOKIE | |
2004 Ionian Rookies | |
 | Robert Burton (Pitcher)Author of the remarkable and encyclopedic The Anatomy of Melancholy (1621)2004 Cosmic Player Plate |
 | Leo Sternbach (Pitcher)Chemist who discovered the anti-anxiety drugs Librium and Valium. |
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