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February 19, 1999
COSMIC GAME: Bolex Poetics @ Paradise Pisces (Pre-Season Exhibition)

The Paradise Pisces were last season's winner of the Universal Cosmic Series but since then the team has been completely overhauled and an awesome squad has been transmuted into something quite a bit less than awesome. It's doubtful the Fish will dominate the Overleague this season. The Bolex Poetics, on the other hand are an up and coming Middleleague team.

The Pisces eked out one run in the second inning and that was it. Despite Poetics pitcher Jonas Mekas' lack of control (6 walks), the Pisces could find no way to capitalize on the free bases. The Pisces don't have much speed, but that's the least of their worries. There's no offensive power; they managfed nothing more singles in only six hits.

The Poetics may be the best defensive team in all of cosmic baseball. They turned over three artful doubleplays and the outfield of rookie Bryan Frye, Harry Smith and Hollis Frampton represent some of the best arms throwing orbs in the league. And offensively their showing some magic. Everyone in the lineup got a hit, including pitcher Mekas. His brither Adolfas, batting in the number eight spot smashed a wicked double in the fourth inning. Bruce Baillie is likely to have a career year both standing and squatting at home plate.

It's just pre-season exhibition baseball but some of the writing is already on the outfield walls.



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February 17, 1999
COSMIC GAME: Dharma Roses @ Vestal Virgins (Pre-Season Exhibition)

Hillary Clinton is on a roll. Her husband escapes being removed from his job...she is suddenly New York's favorite daughter, encouraged to make a run for a U.S. Senate seat... her own daughter, Chelsea, receives very positive media vibrations which stress what a good mother Hillary is...and then Hillary wallops two back-to-back monstrous homeruns in this pre-season exhibition game and to top it all off she winds up with the game's Most Cosmic Player honors.

This all-women cosmic baseball game revealed that the veteran Vestal Virgins should be a contender in the Cosmic Overleague this season. The newly created Dharma Roses might end up sitting near the bottom of the Cosmic Underleague unless they find some punch in their hitting. But one suspects that once the season is underway tried and true hitters like Joan Haverty and LuAnne Henderson will provide some needed offense.

Rookie umpire Linda Tripp was behind the plate calling balls and strikes and by all accounts she was consistent with her interpreation of the strike zone although her understanding of the rules still leaves something to be desired.




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Click Here for the
Roses @ Virgins Game Report

at the Data Base Ball Warehouse.





February 15, 1999
1999 Cosmic Season Notes

The 1999 Cosmic Season begins on the Ides of March (March 15)...The Dharma Beats travel to Paradise to play the Pisces in the Season Opener of the regular 162-game season...There are 24 teams in three leagues including 6 new teams in the Cosmic Underleague...1999 Team Rosters can be accessed from here or from here...There are 408 players, including 59 rookies and 96 staff members on the Rosters...1999 Player Plates can be accessed from the Team Rosters or from here or from here.

Click Here for the
1999 Cosmic Season Plate





February 3, 1999
Ray Bremser- 1999 Cosmic Player Plate

Ray Bremser is one of America's more subterranean poets. Allen Ginsberg refers to Bremser as one of the "powerful but lesser-known" group of writers that have collectively been associated with the Beat Generation. Like Gregory Corso, Bremser began writing poetry in prison where he was serving a six year sentence for armed robbery. He corresponded with Ginsberg and Corso and when he left prison he went to New York City and joined the Beat vortex which was swirling around at the end of the 1950s. Bob Dylan in the liner notes to Highway 61 Revisted("11 Outlined Epitaphs") mentions the "jail songs of Ray Bremser."

Bremser was drafted from the Utica Outlaw League shortly after his corporeal death on November 3, 1998. He joins the 1999 Dharma Beats as the team's rookie starting thirdbase poet.



Click Here for
Bremser's 1999 Cosmic Player Plate





February 1, 1999
Francis Marion- 1999 Cosmic Player Plate








Leslie Nielsen
Most Americans in their middle ages were first introduced to Francis Marion by way of the Walt Disney Presents television show. On October 23, 1959 the first of several episodes starring Leslie Nielsen as the "Swamp Fox" aired across the nation. The Disney people were, of course, trying to capitalize on the success of their "Davy Crockett" shows that had everybody buying a coonskin hat. Nielsen wore a three-cornered "patriot" hat with a foxtail. Apparently the Swamp Fox hats weren't as popular as Davy Crockett's.

The real "Swamp Fox" starring Francis Marion was a warrior of particular note in the southern theater of action during the American Revolutionary War. He started his military career in the early 1760s when he fought against the Cherokee in the woods of South Carolina. (Marion's ancestors were French Huguenots who came to the "new world" to escape religious persecution. The Cherokee feeling persecuted by the new world colonists did not escape anywhere but rather fought a losing battle.)

The television show dealt with Marion's exploits against the British after the fall of Charleston in 1780. Marion led what was essentially a group of guerilla warriors that surreptitiously attacked British communications lines, sabotaged munitions depots and ambushed British patrols. The ability of Marion's men to disappear into the swamps around the Santee River reportedly caused his enemy, the British Colonel Banastre Tarleton, to call him a "swamp fox which the devil himself could not catch."

The 1999 Wonderland Warriors drafted Marion out of the 2nd South Carolina Regiment Rookie League where he distinguished himself at the shortstop position.

Click Here for
Marion's 1999 Cosmic Player Plate







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CBA News & Information Plate- February News Archive
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Archived: March 1, 1999
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