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The Heartland Capitalists, the Cosmic Baseball Association's team for the captains of industry, won the Cosmic Universal Series the very first year they played cosmic baseball. It was the season of 1984 and the Capitalists beat CBA's team of artists, the Bhutan Vanguards, in a very exciting Series.
Unfortunately the Capitalists have only returned to the Series once since then, in 1994, and they lost to the Alphatown Ionians, CBA's team of philosophers and scientists.
The team's first owner was Horatio Alger. Alger sold the team in 1994 to the famous basketball player Michael Jordan whom in turn sold the team four years later to the well-known sophist of business management, Peter Drucker. Drucker had been the team's first field manager (1984-1986). The composition of the team has traditionally been capitalists and individuals primarily involved in the field of making money. However during the 1990s the team began to draft economists and other intellectuals who studied how money was made and accumulated, spent and dissipated. That trend caused problems on the field of play and fan support declined nearly 14% in a three-year period ended December 31, 1997.
Drucker has vowed to turn that situation around. He hired Ayn Rand to run things on the field and committed himself to filling the coach's job with the CEO of the Hewlett-Packard company, whoever he or she may be. He also tagged former Capitalist player Ted Turner to be his General Manager.
The team has been purged of all the economists and staffed with mostly CEOs. The recent trend has been to mine the high technology corporations for talent. This season the Capitalists signed six rookies and all of them are connected in one way or another with the production or support of advanced technology products.
Heartland Capitalists- Season 2000 Official Team Roster
Published: November 5, 1999
Copyright © 1999 by the Cosmic Baseball Association